Celebrating Mother’s Day. The top 3 lessons I’ve learnt from being a Mum.
While there are so many wonderful moments in motherhood, you’re also faced with challenges. Second guessing yourself and asking questions, such as; ‘Is what Im doing today going to make my child a good person?’, or ‘Is what I’m doing totally going to mess them up?’. However, I believe all mothers are united by their unconditional love for their children. As Mother’s Day is just around the corner I thought I’d share with you what being a mum has taught me:
Stop the mother’s guilt.
As mum’s, we can often find ourselves in the ‘Am I doing enough for my children?’ mode. Especially in this era of social media, where daily we see families on holidays, children receiving awards and so on. While we all celebrate these moments in life, there is that pang of guilt that we aren’t giving our children enough life fulfilling experiences.
A few years ago I was suffering a bad case of mother’s guilt, as I was very busy and it had been a headache of a year.
At school my daughter had drawn a beautiful picture of me. I had this red flowing hair with a yellow flowery summer dress on, holding a bunch of pink flowers and all topped off with a big smile. On the drawing she had written ‘Mum’s smile makes me happy’. This was my ah-ha moment. It gave me perspective and made me stop and believe I was doing ok in this crazy, busy world.
We don’t know what we are doing all the time, and that’s ok.
Having children spins you into an unknown dimension. ‘A mind that is stretched to a new idea never returns to its original dimension’ – Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. Being responsible to shape new life is an honour and a blessing. However, in the mix of motherhood we often find the roles can be reversed and our children can start to shape us also. Whether it be them lecturing us on not swearing, teaching us how to control our emotions and to be generous with sharing, making us think about the consequence of our actions and of course, the patience and understanding that is forced upon us. After nearly 10 years I’m definitely still a mum with training wheels on and loving the ride.
Take time out for yourself.
One thing for sure is that life is super busy when you are a parent. It’s very easy to forget to reflect on your own needs as a person. There is a lesson I learned from Marie Forleo about making time for the important stuff. Marie suggests to picture an empty jar and then fill it with large rocks. These rocks represent the important things in life such as family and friends. Then drop some smaller pebbles in. These will fall into the available spaces and they represent the things we personally want to achieve. Now the jar will appear full. However you can still fit sand in, this will find its way through the spaces between the rocks and pebbles. This represents the things you HAVE to do, like shopping and cleaning. Now, if you reversed the filling order, and you filled the jar with sand first, then there wouldn’t be enough room for all the rocks and pebbles, which is the important stuff that we need to do to be a great Mum. This visualisation helped me to understand that you need to take the time to spend with your family and friends first, along with the things you personally want to achieve because you can always manage to squeeze in the other things you have to do.
To help Mum feel extra special this Mother’s Day I have created a beautiful space on the inside of our Mother’s Day cards where I have added a simple sentence inside. ‘Mum, you’re beautiful because…’ This card provides a space to put pen to paper and tell Mum (no matter her age) why she is beautiful and how much you appreciate her. For my mum it would be ‘Mum you’re beautiful because you allowed me to dream big and to believe I could achieve anything I wanted’.
I would love all Mums’, no mater your age, to know you are all truly beautiful.
With Love, Joanne, a good (not perfect) mum of 2 beautiful children and founder of Skin Juice.